P: What? D: Some of the Internet really, really did not love My Hor- I'd say it's 50/50, "I love you! Yuuma! Hoof me!" D: And half, "I never thought you'd sink this low, and you just managed to sink further." P: But, even if you hate it, people are still curious about what happens next in the story. D: Morbid curiosity. P: Yep. D: If you missed the last episode, we'll link to it down in the description.
D: Basically, it's a parody of a Japanese dating simulator app, where a woman falls in love with a human-faced horse. P: Is it parody? Or is it just an app where-. D: A weird kink? P: You date a horse? D: We have no idea where it's going! P: Some of you liked it so much, we've had fanart of this game. D: This says so much more about you than us.
P: So here's the first one. D: Wow! That's like, well-drawn. I appreciate the effort there. P: Yeah.
I like my horse face. Then this one- Oh my God. D: Oooh! That must have taken- P:That must have taken hours! D: Upwards of an hour, I think. That's too good.
P: That is insane. D: I don't know if it's legal for you to have that on your computer. P: No. D: And that includes you too, Phil.
P: Finally (laughs)- D- What? OH JESUS CHRIST! What the hell? P: It came to life! It's real! D: No- see, that's my actual face petting a horse, cause horses have long faces and they're terrifying. P: Yeah? D: But then that's not- Speaking of which, Phil. P:Yeah? D: Aren't you afraid of horses? P: I am! D: Because you were freaking terrified when we fed horses. P: I think the fact that this horse has this face is making me less scared of it.
So it must be horse faces I'm specifically scared of. D: Phil was born in the year of the horse (clears throat). P: Yup! D: I'll have to keep an eye on him. Okay, let's get back into this wonderful adventure! P: (sings) My Horse Prince! I've realized that kind of sounds like the Simpsons theme, but- D: Don't say that then.
P: I wasn't going for that. Wait, I'll do another one. P: My, Horse Prince! That's like- D: You weirdo. P: That's like the jaunty fifties' TV show where they're friends with a horse.
D:This is not a jaunty- this is a serious dating simulator. P: I'm wearing the heart shirt! Do you not think I'm ready? D: Wow, you've planned this rom- and I've brought back the pastel softness. P: Pastel Dream Daniel. D: So ready for some equine romance.
P: Like Daniel Radcliffe in Equus. D: Except less penis. P: Alright, oh! Here we go! Next episode! D: Back in the story, this is you. That man- and he's wearing a little tuxedo! P: Oh! He's so smart.
D: Awww. P: He know's he's on YouTube now, so he's dressed up for the occasion. D: He's like "Oh my God, millions of people are for some reason watching this." P: Ditch the dungarees- D: Same. P: Back in the tux.
D: Okay. (Phil reading from screen.) D: I know that's incorrect use of Japanese, we're not taking this seriously, okay? Right. (Phil reading from screen) D: Exactly what Phil thought. (Phil reading from screen.) P: What is going on there? D: What the hell are we looking at? Why is that censored? P: What is underneath him? D: Let's not about it.
Okay. P: Is he floating above a hole? (Phil reading from screen.) P: I thought that said "SusanKun is shook." D: Is shook! P: I read it wrong. D: Next episode: Treadmill Training. P: Oh my God, I'm so hyped.
(D&P singing) A girl in love, with a human-faced horse. D: This is the content you all subscribed for. P: Hee hee! I'm excited. I wanna see what happens next! P: Are they gonna fall in love? D: You only have yourselves to blame.
If you were indifferent- P: Yeah- D: Instead of, just, extremely positive or negative, this might not have happened. But, it's your fault. P: It's your fault. P: My Horse Prince.
Episode 2: Treadmill Training. D: Here we are, back on the ranch. P: Is this you? D: Right, now, what is my voice? P: You kind of started off as the girl anime voice and descended into slightly high Dan-voice. D: (In high-pitched voice) Because when I was talking like this, that was stupid, so I think slightly higher Dan-voice is quite appropriate.
P: Okay (Dan reading from screen.) P: Is she British? D: Yeah, she's Emma Watson. D: Probably. P: I think you shouldn't express that out loud if you do. Just saying.
D: Yeah, is this an internal monologue? Or is she on the tube right now and everyone's like, "Uhh, shuffle away." P: I like that you think the tube exists in this universe. D: She's in Japan! They have a subway! P: Alright. D: We went on it. P: Okay.
D: It plays a jingle depending on what line you're on. P: I thought she was in like, a random horse village. And she was just like, near- D: Maybe she's commuting from the city? Who knows. P: Alright.
(Dan reading from screen.) D: When the hoof thing happened. P: Oh, the Hoofening. (Dan reading from screen.) P: So we're learning about SusanKun here, she's quite smart. D: Giving us some Latin, and some Biology here.
(Dan reading from screen.) P: A horse has 32 chromosomes? D: Probably what gives it such a- a long face. P: They're all in the nose! (Dan reading from screen.) P: Well, just say you don't want it! D: There she is! Surprised at her own trashbag mind and decisions. P: What are you doing? (Dan reading from screen.) P: She's got some mixed feelings about this. D: I like- are you in love with it, and it's ruining your decision making? P: Or naw.
D: Or are you in love with it? P: Decide, Susan. D: I like that in the translation to English, cause this game is Japanese- P: Yeah? D: The translator put "weird-ass." P: Yeah! I like that. D: Do they have weird-ass in Japan? P: Weird-ass horse. (Dan reading from screen.) P: Oh! He's back! D: Dreamy voice, Phil.
P: He's dreamier than ever. His hair is literally glistening. (Both reading from screen.) P: Uh-oh. D: Make your mind up, woman! What do you think? P: Make your mind up! (Both reading from screen.) P: You're just talking to his hooves.
D: Yeah, I'm here on business. Oh, God. She's digging a hole like I do in a situation. (Both reading from screen.) D: Here, we go.
This is like when I lie to anybody about what job I do when they make small talk to me. P: Spiral of lies, Susan! (Dan reading from screen.) P: Wow. Farm water. D: Susan, mate that's a pretty terrible one, okay.
(Both continue reading.) P: Oh my God, I wanna buy some! Reductive Ranch water, feat. The pretty-boy horse. D: I love that they actually designed that just for that moment. P: I know! They should sell merch of it.
D: Dedication to the art. How is it- like, she just called him handsome, basically. Out loud. How's he gonna react? P: Uhh...
D: I love the little, "Uhh!" P: Uhh! (Both continue reading.) D: Aw, Yuuma always knows what to say. (Both continue reading.) D: Have some respect, for your elders, Jesus. P: He's back in the dungarees. (Both continue reading.) P: Is she gonna get on his back? D: Who knows.
(Both continue reading.) P: This is how is starts, Susan. D: Slippery slope, lady! P: Oh! He's in the field! D: Are you ready for the gameplay? Here we go, MISSION START! P: Can I do it again? I really enjoyed doing the gameplay. D: Right, we need to get through some role-playing first. D: A gold carrot fell from the sky! Okay, are you ready- P: What is a gold carrot? D: For the next mechanic of gaming? P: No, I don't even know.
P: He'll go into a fever if you give him the gold carrot. D: Ooh! P: During a fever you can earn lots of points without his energy dropping. D: That's handy. D: I may have bought a gold carrot when I did this first level.
P: Okay. What is that? Is that a treadmill? What? D: Tiny treadmills appear to be falling from the sky. D: Wait wait wait. In the first mission- P: Yeah.
You tap the carrot- P: Right. D: And he eats the carrot and that's what filled the bar. P: Yeah? D: They said that we were training- 'cause he's a racehorse- D: Why the hell are there treadmills? P: It's raining treadmills! Hallelujah. D: Right, just tap on it, whatever.
P: Okay. Oh my God. D: What? What the hell is happening?! P: What is this? D: But SusanKun- he runs on treadmills? P: H'es just breaking them in half. D: Jesus Christ, okay.
P: I love his little prance at the end. D: This is such a monta- His legs are, like, bending all the way up and round. P: So, shall I press all of them? D: Yeah, just go nuts, like, get that training in! Here we go, Here we go! P: So, our aim is to get the goal to 100%, and then we can get to the next level. Is that right? D: No, it's to get to the bar, his energy is how happy he is- P: Oh.
D: And that's pretty low, so. You know what time it is? P: Is it time for a little chat? D: Time for a little chat. P: Am I going to keep my excellent record? D: I don't- You did pretty well in this first one. P: Yeah, here we go.
D: This is the part where we have a conversation, and he gets, like, inspired based on how good we are. P: What color horse do you like? D: Ooh. Okay, so options are light brown, white, or black. P: Well, he's light brown.
I mean, so light brown. It's a compliment. D: But Yuuma's so fickle, he might be like, "I like white horses, too." P: I'm gonna go with light brown. D: Follow your heart, Phil.
Let's see. P: I'm following my heart. D: Oh! P: Really? Well, that makes me happy. GOOD! D: Ohhhhh- P: Why is that good? What was the right answer? D: See, I told you.
He might have been like, "Black's my fave." P: Aww! D: I love that when he did that little tilt, he was like, "Really?" P: Eh, really? D: So I think whenever you get an okay one, you should read it indifferently like D: "Really? Okay, I guess that's like, the okay answer, that's like, okay. P: Alright. D: Right, mash some more treddies! P: Oh my God. D: Slam! Slam! Sla- If- How expensive are treadmills? P: They're like, 1000 pounds, D: How much money is Ogisan wasting? We need to have a serious chat with him.
P:He wants his horse to have the meatiest legs possible. D: No, no, you're getting too low. You should get a couple more- P: Oh, oh, oh. Okay.
D: Where is he getting these? SusanKun, asking the real questions. P: Oh my God, he's going purple. I think I killed him. D: Ogisan answered.
P: Late night shopping channels? D: People actually buy those products? D: Okay, yeah. He's literally glowing purple from sadness. P: Right, talk again. Beep! P: How did you get to the ranch? D: Oh, judging you based on your commuting.
P: I mean , I won't say horse, 'cause then he might be jealous- D: You're cheating on him! P: Yeah, cheating on another horse. D: Right, train. P: Train. I don't think he's- D: It's romantic, of you.
P: I think he'll think about the environment and all of the pollution it makes. So, I'm thinking bicycle? D: Okay, Phil. Let's see how it goes. P: Bicycle! D: Oh! He's happy! P: Oh! I can't imagine you pedaling a bike with all you've got! D: Ohhh.
P: Ohh, we chose the right one! D: Nice. P: See? Safety can just- Can we do the golden carrot? D: No, do one more to get the most of your energy. P: Okay. D: Okay.
Here we go. You haven't messed it up yet. P: Oh my God! Do you like dogs or cats? P: I mean, I am a doggo kind of guy. D: Be honest, Phil.
P: I'm hone- Well, I don't like horses that much! D: Be honest! P: But he's a horse! I'm dating the horse, I'm not dating me. D: But that's the obvious answer! Say dogs. Say dogs. Okay.
Here we go. P: Dogs! D: Oh. P: Yeah, they're really loyal. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're really loyal.
D: Yeah! There we go! D: Indifferent! P: I should've said horses, I bet that was the winning answer. D: I bet it was the wrong one. P: A cat would just scratch a horse's eyes out. D: See, um.
If you're like, really sad like me, you can just press this, and then you can watch a YouTube video P: What? D: Yeah, you can just watch ads. P: You can just watch an ad? D: So, you might not even need the energy for the game but if you really just love talking to Yuuma- P: Yeah? D: You can just watch loads of ads and replenish them! P: Also, you're paying them to maybe make another expansion to this game. D: Support these people! Give them your money! See, boom. There we go.
You can crack it all the way up. P: So we can talk again. D: Talk! D: Right. P: Here we go, this is the question.
D: I love that you haven't gotten one wrong yet. That's quite impressive. P: I feel so relaxed when I'm with you! D: Oh, how do we respond? P: Yeah. D: There's no time to relax, you have to train! D: That's maybe a bit intense? P: Yeah, that's- D: Thanks, or, I get that a lot.
P: Oh! D: Right, okay. He's a troll. If you say there's no time to relax, you have to train- P: Yeah? D: I feel like he might be like, "Boo, you're being too hard on me." P: Boo! D: Thanks, might be like, wow you didn't say anything. P: Yeah.
D: And then I get that a lot of- P: It's like full of herself. D: Maybe it's full of herself, or maybe it's like, "Yeah! I bet you do, 'cause you're really pretty. P: I get that a lot? D: Yeah, I feel like it's the troll answer, go. P: Okay.
D: OOOH! Noo! P: No! He hates me! D: Oh God. In your saddest voice. P: Ohh, I didn't realize you're used to hearing that. D: Look at that sad face.
P: He's so sad! D: At least, from like a gaming YouTuber perspective, we just showed the sad option. P: Yeah, I didn't want to get it, though! D: And now, here's the other thing. You can watch another ad, and you'll reverse the decision! P: Even if he reverses the decision, I feel like this is like the SimRay in the Sims, it's just cheating. D: Well than, say "Um What?" P: Ummm, what? D Appreciate Ogisan wearing the fairy outfit there, what the hell.
P: I did like that. D: Okay well I think now, because we don't want to watch more ads, that's really lame. Click the golden carrot. P: Is it golden carrot time? D: Yep, let's go.
And then mash those things, 'cause that, yeah. P: Bahpettybahpettybah, Bah! D: Go! Frenzy! P: Okay! D:Tap as fast as you can, you can't run out of energy, Phil. Go, go! P: Oh my God, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going! D: Tap, yes, yes. Fever! He's panting! P: Pant pant pant.
D: Montage. P: Come on! Smash those treadmills. D: He looks tired. D: SusanKun's into it, keep going.
P: I'm going, I'm going. D: "How much do they cost?" She's thinking. P: Here we go. D: Keep going.
P: Oh! D: Hi, I'd like 100 more treadmills. Ogisan, you have a problem. P: Your bond has grown even stronger. D: He's buying even more?! There we go.
Ohh, sunset. Sweaty horse has finished his training. P: Everyone's sweaty right now. D:What the fuck is this game? P: I don't know.
D: I'm so sorry, to all the moderate YouTube watchers out there that aren't like, massive weirdos. P: Yeah? D: I'm sorry. P: I'm enjoying it. D: But maybe this is, like, a cultural experience.
Okay. P: But where is this going? D: Where is this going now? D: What a waste of such a big space... Very true- I mean, look at all that land he has. (Both continue reading.) D: I love that he's glistening, as he was like, dripping sweat.
P: He's not sweating. He just sweats sparkles. P: That's what's happening. D: I relate to that.
(Phil reads.) D: I like the little ear twitch there. (Dan reads.) P: Sass. He's gonna sack you, you Salty Susan. D: Troll though.
(Dan reads.) P: Oh! D: Maybe that's just nonsexual. P: Yeah, maybe. D: And just want's to see the racehorse's form. P: OH! He's getting close again! Watch out! (Phil reads.) D: Did you see that? She was coming for us.
Huh? Uh oh, here we go. Oh! Are you ready? P: Ohh! He's tickling her with the hoof! D: He's tickling her chin?! D: I love that she's like, " Hah," and he's like- Can a horse- Okay. Do horses have elbows? P: I don't know. D: No, they have- Can a horse even do that? Is the horse like, "Eh eh, there we go." P: Would you let a horse do that to you if it had that face? He's just been trampling all over the things but he stepped in his own horse poo.
P: Right. Here we go. D: Okay, let's see. You ready? D: This is gonna be the next round of bloody fanart, now.
Don't do this! P: I haven't asked your name. D: Have we not got that far? Oh no. D: Is he going in for a kiss? Jesus. P: Oh my God, it's a horse, Susan! D: Jesus Christ! P: It's a frickin' horse.
(Both continue to read.) D: S-S-SusanKun. P: SusanKun! D: Eh- ah- Ah!! D: Jesus Christ. Help me. D: Oh God.
(Both continue to read.) P: Oh! It's all about money, is it, Yuuma? D: Maybe he's manipulating her for his racehorse career. P: What? D: Susan! P: Again! D: All it takes is a little sexual peer pressure and Susan's like "Yes! I'll invest my savings into you!" D: I thought you were gonna start a bottled water business, Susan. P: I know. What's gonna happen to that? P: So is this the end of the chapter? Do I press again? D: Who knows? Let's see, Yeah, keep going.
P: Oh! D: Stockholm Syndrome, honestly. P: She's doing it. D: Susan, for God's sake. P: Oh, oh! D&P: Next episode.
D: Okay! There we go! There we go! P: That's it! P: But what will happen next? I can't wait? I need to know! D: What did you think of that episode? P: I mean, I'm more invested in the whole thing. P: Is SusanKun wasting her money putting it into this horse? D: Susan Kun is a conflicted character, cause she seems- She knows a lot about Biology. D: And Latin. And she's a career business woman that came to the country to just, you know like, D: Hook up with some guys that aren't sleazy in a club.P: Yep.
D: But then here she is, like, "Okay Mr. Horse! I'll give you my life's savings!" Susan. P: Yep. D: She's a character with real depth.
P: She is. D: Well-written. P: Yeah. P: Those treadmills exploding took it to an even weirder level than I was expecting.
D: It's clearly more bizarre than any of us are braced for, and I feel like this is just gonna keep escalating. D: Comedically. And romantically. P: Yeah.
I wanna learn more. P: If you wanna learn more, give us a thumbs up! We're only gonna keep playing this, D: We're only just gonna keep- P: As long as you wanna see it. D: Oh God. Oh GOD! P: So press your sweaty hoof against our subscribe button.
D: Don't- No one's gonna subscribe if you say that! P: Subscribe to our videos! D: Stay tuned to the thrilling drama that is this series. Subscribe. Link to our last video, over there. D: Our other channels, down there.
And we'll see you next time. P: Trot off into the sunset, and we'll see you a-(Neiiiigh).
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